Over the last few weeks, I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing people about authenticity, breaking through barriers, and living their Dream Life. Every Monday, you’ll find a new interview posted. If you missed it, last week I interviewed Sally Hope.
Today I bring you Ev’Yan Nasman of Sex, Love & Liberation. You may know Ev’Yan from her personal blog, Apricot Tea, where she has been unbelievably candid and open. Ev’Yan brings this same openness to SLL, along with a message that is undeniably powerful and necessary – not just nice to read, but NEEDED right this moment. I am constantly inspired and impressed with Ev’Yan’s ability to put her thoughts and feelings out there and get right to the heart of it. So without further ado…
This interview series is about people who live their dream life – which looks different for everyone and is always evolving – can you describe your current Dream Life?
Right now, my dream life consists of working at my own pace, allowing myself to evolve & grow & discover. It’s meeting new people that inspire my work & my purpose. It’s having the freedom to shape my days however I’d like: having breakfast at noon, an impromptu “business meeting” over a lovely Thai meal, brainstorming writing ideas over a glass of wine while lounging on my couch. Waking up next to my best friend, business partner, & lover (all rolled into one) is one of the best things about my life.
In my opinion, we sometimes encounter fear or barriers while following our passions. What has been your biggest barrier and how did you get past it?
I have been my biggest barrier & my worst critic. I often stand in the way of my own success because of fear or over-analyzation; I think we all do this to some degree. With that said, it’s a bit difficult to get ‘past’ yourself, but it is possible stop giving that negative part of you so much power. (I recently wrote about this a little bit.)
Of course, this is all a work in progress & I’m no expert on it yet. The most important thing to me is giving those feelings a voice, acknowledging them, & then trying to make peace with them. If not that then having enough courage to tell that voice within me to shut up.
Oh yeah, fear and over-analyzing so easily get in the way. I thought this post is such a great reminder to be kind to ourselves.
I, too, have struggled (still struggle with sometimes) with self-esteem and body confidence issues. Once I cut out T.V. – in particular the commercials – and fashion magazines that show unobtainable images of what “beauty” is, I’ve been a lot happier. What strategies have you/do you use to up your confidence and sexuality?
I do that too, actually. Cutting out live television (we don’t have cable), magazines, & even some blogs has made a HUGE impact on my self-esteem & feelings of self-worth. Doing that has allowed me to better filter out those subliminal messages of perfection & social acceptance. It’s amazing how many images/ideas we’re bombarded with on a daily basis that provokes the critical voice within. Since practicing this kind of filtering, I have a better grasp of my emotions. I feel more in control.
When it comes to my sexuality… Sex, Love & Liberation has been an amazing tool for upping my desire & awareness within my own body. Because I’m teaching others to become more sex positive with themselves (amongst other things), I feel a sense of obligation to practice what I preach. I kind of have to! There’s no way around that. So above all things, I am grateful for SLL reminding me of my own sexual greatness. I have a tendency to forget.
I love your post 8 Simple Affirmations You Should Whisper to Yourself Daily and all the positivity that your site shares. I’ve found that positive affirmations have enormous power to change they way we think and feel, what has been your experience using affirmations?
Thank you! Yes, using affirmations can be so incredibly powerful. For me personally, I’ve found it very effective to actually tattoo them on my body.
I have two reminders on my skin: one that says ‘this too shall pass’ & another that reads ‘breathe’ in Sanskrit. I view the tattoos on my body as valuable memos; things that I need to be constantly reminded of on a daily basis to keep me focused & grounded. Because I’m always staring at my body, it makes sense to have these memos — or affirmations — in plain sight so that they can remind of the things I often forget.
Of course, tattoos aren’t for everybody, but for me they have been an amazing way to evoke awareness throughout the day.
This is a great idea! It’s so easy to forget to consistently use affirmations when we don’t see them or have them with us all the time.
Can you share some knowledge gain recommendations (blogs, books, documentaries, etc.)?
Oh, there are so many! For books, I recommend For Yourself, by Lonnie Barbach. This helped launch my sex positivity & sexual awareness. Entre Nous: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl is a lighthearted read & is one of my favorites. I believe everyone woman should read it.
Sex at Dawn is also really enlightening. It really opened my eyes to the way humans have evolved since prehistoric times, which in turn affected our sex lives. It’s a heavy read, but very fascinating & worth mentioning.
Currently, Jonathan & I are reading The Ethical Slut, which is proving to be one of the most interesting books I’ve ever read. Regardless of my opinions about open relationships, this book elicits amazing conversations between Jonathan & I & is broadening my horizons when it comes to my own relationship. Not for the faint of heart, but perfect for those who are curious & open-minded.
As for documentaries, you must see America the Beautiful, which talks about America’s fixation on beauty & perfection, which are often unrealistic & warped.
Any last words of inspiration for people looking to actively pursue their passions?
Follow your heart, listen to your intuitions, & go for it. It really is as simple as that.
Love it! Thanks so much Ev’Yan!
So if you haven’t been over to Sex, Love & Liberation yet, go there now and start with these:
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