Grow

Surging Ahead Despite Imperfection

October 5, 2012

perfection

Remember when we talked about all the mistakes that lead to finally getting good at something?

I’ve been thinking more about that and how just the fear of mistakes can stop me from progressing. How the quest for perfection can often freeze me in my tracks.

You see, when I’m worried about sewing everything just perfectly or baking the perfect cake, I lose all motivation to actually do it.

I get stuck on the idea that it needs to be perfect and don’t actually end up making anything.

On the flip side, when I decide to just surge ahead and let go of my perfection-worries I suddenly feel inspired to create and try new things.

The seams might be a bit crooked.

The cake might lean a bit.

The knitting might have a few more gaps than it should.

The website might not have all the features I’ve dreamed up.

The painting might be a bit elementary.

But I don’t care because I’ve decided that moving forward is more important than doing it perfectly. I’ve realized that perfection is my creative barrier. And the best way for me to bust through it, is to let it go. And in the process of creating more, I know that I’ll naturally get better and eventually make less mistakes.

What about you, do you struggle with perfection? At what point in the creative process do you find yourself getting stuck or losing motivation? Is there a way that you can surge past your creative barrier?

{ 1 comment }

Lessons from a Summer Alone

September 12, 2012

gangtogether

Today marks my last full day alone – Kale gets back from Alaska tomorrow evening (hip hip hooray!).

And while flying solo for more than 100 days isn’t my preferred setup, I’ve come to appreciate and value these summers alone – and all the lessons they taught me. In part just to make a note-to-self for future reference and in part because we all grow when we share, I’ve decided to proclaim my lessons learned from a summer alone.

Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely.
Sure there were plenty of times when I was hit with a pang of loneliness – wishing I had someone to walk around at the market holding hands with or sit with on the grass enjoying an outdoor concert – but much of the time that I was alone I wasn’t lonely. I enjoy working on projects by myself and having time to just daydream or ponder.

I can (and should!) take charge more often.
I often defer to Kale when making decisions about where to eat or what to do. Not because he wants me to – it actually kinda drives him nuts – but because I’m a people-pleaser through and through and I always want to make the other person happy. Having Baylor as my sidekick (who would always choose eating dog treats and swimming) meant that all decisions were left up to me. And it made me realize that I can make decisions big and small. Being decisive is just a muscle that I need to exercise more and it will grow stronger and more capable with use.

Independence isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
It seems like our society is a bit obsessed with independence. People who travel the world alone are heralded whereas a partner that moves across the country for their partner is snickered at (I’ve literally had a woman respond with, “how’s that working out?” when I explained that I’d moved to Seattle for Kale to attend school). When polled American parents biggest concern is that they teach their children independence. But here’s the thing, I don’t want to live in a completely independent society – I crave interdependence. I want to be mutually reliant on other people. I think that’s part of what makes a strong relationship and strong relationships make me happy. So while I understand and appreciate all the things I can and will do alone, I like having a partner in life to share it with.

One person can’t meet all your needs.
A friend said this once and I think it is so true. We often think that the people in our lives (or at least I do) have to meet every need we may have. So we expect our partners, friends, family to be equally good and ecstatic talking about crafting, brainstorming business strategies , discussing new books, going camping, hiking, swimming, having a low-key day or going on a big adventure. It’s much more fulfilling though – and less frustrating – to find different people who are good at meeting specific needs. Building that network makes me happier and puts less stress on the relationships where a need is unmet, because I can just go straight to the person who specializes in meeting that need. I get my needs met and everyone gets to perform to their strengths – win win.

With a crispness in the air to announce the impending arrival of fall, I’m reminded that each season offers lessons – I just need to be open to seeing them. And so I give thanks for summer’s lessons and look forward to the upcoming autumn curriculum.

What about you? What lessons have you learned this summer? Please share in the comments – I’d love to hear your story!

{ 6 comments }

Are These On Your List of Mistakes?

August 29, 2012

mistakesquote

Have you ever quit after trying something once? Quit, thinking that it was just too difficult? Quit, thinking that you just weren’t any good at it?

I know I have.

There’s a funny thing about a first attempt, though. It’s always the hardest. Think of skills that you do have – walking, talking, feeding yourself. The first time you did those things, you fell down, made noises no one understood, and smeared food all over yourself. But with each attempt it got easier, until you had more or less mastered those skills.

Because I’m now proficient at cooking, baking and creating, people often assume I was always that way. And they assume that if they’re not currently a great baker, cook or crafter, then it will simply never happen.

The truth is I’m only decent at these things because I put a lot of time and effort into them. And I’ve made a lot of mistakes.

I’ve cooked meals that were truly inedible.

I’ve realized that the spring form pan wasn’t assembled properly only once I had poured in the cheesecake batter … and it dumped out all over the floor.

I’ve made strawberry preserves that passed the place of jelly and went straight to candy – forever rock-hard, stuck in their jars.

I’ve burned pies, cookies, breads, cakes. You name it, I’ve probably burned it.

I’ve used my seam ripper more than I ever imagined possible.

I’ve sewn wonky lines and left exposed seams (not on purpose).

I’ve felted things right past small and cute, and into the place of miniature and useless.

I’ve made things too ugly to display and too weird to wear.

But I’ve kept at it – eventually.

Looking back now, I realize that it’s the practice – the hours logged – that have gotten me this far.

So if you think you don’t have the talent or ability to cook, bake or create, I’m here to tell you that simply isn’t true – I know from firsthand experience. You might not have the level of talent you desire, yet, but you’ll get there.

And if you’re now rather accomplished in the kitchen or craft room, take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come and all the mistakes that got you to where you are today.

{ 1 comment }

← Previous Entries