Embrace the Crazy

I sat there power drinking my tea. Determined to teach them a lesson.

I understood they would be closing in 20 minutes. Paper cup refused, I promised to finish the pot of tea in time.

Down went the tea as quickly as possible.

A refill of hot water requested. Paper cup encouraged. Refused.
Encouraged strongly. Refused adamantly.

I was rather annoyed at this point. Why did they have to be so crazy? Why didn’t they get it?

It was the principle of the thing, not wanting to waste a paper cup.

It was the tactile experience, requesting a proper mug.

It was the economical choice, to get a second dose of hot water.

My mind whirled as I downed it. Scalded tongue be damned, I was going to finish this tea.

And then I began to giggle. At the absolute absurdity of it all. At the fact that while I thought them crazy, they surely thought the same of me.

The crazy lady who just didn’t get it.

The desire to be done with the work day. The hope that it would be a day devoid of insane, power-drinking tea fanatics.

We’re each our own kinda crazy.

It’s what makes us unique.

Embrace the crazy with humor and compassion.

It’s what makes it bearable.

It’s Not about Being Fearless

My phone buzzed. A text from my sister.

She was boarding her plane for a weekend of ropings and rodeos.

It makes me nervous just traveling to a bordering state – I have so much respect for your crazy travels!

It’s a sentiment I hear often. People assume that because I’ve toured the country in a van, motorbiked across Ecuador, and traveled solo through foreign lands that I must be fearless.
It’s simply not true.

To be honest I’m a rather unlikely adventure seeker. I like familiarity, love being in control of my situation, and luxuriate in the normal, mundane tasks of life . I’m easily overwhelmed by fast-moving places, hoards of people and unfamiliar experiences.

So how in the world did I end up leaping from one adventure to the next with so much gusto?
I’ll tell you what I told Kelsey.

You just have to keep doing it to get less nervous. I always have a few times during every trip where I feel like crying from overwhelm. You got this!

I’m not fearless and you don’t have to be either to seek adventure.

You just have to be committed. To give it a go. To fall five times and get up six.

It’s not about being fearless.
It’s just about doing it.
You got this.

You’re Only as Sick as You’re Secrets

My mom taught me this phrase

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

It’s one of the most useful lessons she’s ever shared. Yet I always have this awkward internal struggle when passing it on to someone. A moment where I cringe in discomfort that they’ll ask its origin.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

I see the irony. That I would share this phrase while struggling with wanting to keep secret where it comes from.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

It’s not because I’m ashamed or embarrassed of where she learned it. It’s that I’m so overwhelmingly proud of her. I don’t want anyone to reduce her to a single stereotype. To judge without understanding. To think that sliver of info gives any insight into the reality.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

It’s her honest embrace of this phrase that defines her, not the fact that she learned it at rehab. She can’t be reduced to a moment in time, a box-sized image, a singular experience – none of us can. We are a collection of ever-changing stories. Always being updated, repeated, deleted, rewritten.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

Sharing your secrets is scary, liberating and, often, not nearly as hard as imagined.
Feeling sick is much, much worse.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

Tell your secrets. Be brave. Write your story with honesty.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

Without secrets, you are not sick.
You are healthy.